Opinionated Thought

How to Lame up a good Halloween Party

Last Updated on Thursday, 19 November 2009 20:34
Written by Morgan Hill Sunday, 01 November 2009 09:58

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Leave it to me to lame up a good Halloween party. For starters the tickets said everything started at 8:30. For the record that is not when everything got started that is when the doors opened. The party actually got started around 10, just about the time I was leaving. People were showing up in droves at this point but I had already been walking around in circles for almost an hour and was already sick of the place.

Step 2 in the losers guide on how to lame up a good Halloween party is to show up in a bad costume. I had been pretty busy the week before so I threw together my flashiest suit ensemble (which wasn't that flashy) and called myself a drug dealer. No one could see the three bags of fine white powdery substance I had in my coat pocket so I was dubbed Suit Guy. If one more person called me ‘Suit Guy' there was going to be a problem.

Step 3: Don't have a date. I brought a friend that had to leave early at that. One thing that I realized is that everyone showed up in pairs or in groups. Without an introduction or a good costume to help break the ice it made it difficult for me to mingle. I was left to people watch savoring the successful conversations I did manage to conjure up. Within 3-5 seconds of seeing someone you have to say something to make yourself seem friendly, open and interesting enough to talk to. I just didn't have it tonight.

Step 4: Plan on meeting people there. I was planning on meeting up with a few people once I got there. One I was in contact with via cell phone but the noise just gave into missed calls and ultimately a missed connection. Another I knew but had never met. Once I located her and was on my way to the approach she turned around right at an inopportune time and I would have been introducing myself to her ass. Another couple of friends weren't there by the time I was ready to leave although she did call me stumbling drunk right about two o'clock in the morning, Which reminds me.. I should call to make sure she made it home ok.

Step 5: Set your expectations a bit too high. My expectations for this party proved to be a bit unreasonable. First of all the Haunted House that I thought was included wasn't. It cost extra. And while it got great reviews it didn't give me a single jump. The costumes were great and the acting was superb. The lights, sounds and smells were all right on target but yet not a single "whoa, what was that?" Another thing I found disappointing was the lack of things to do. Keep in mind when I got there, no band was playing, the ‘psychics' already had a line that didn't seem to move, and I was struggling to conjure up casual conversation. There were no individuals to approach. There were groups and I never quite earned my ‘player' credentials. I'm just not that good. Tonight would have been the perfect place to practice but I was already frustrated and heading for the door. Once through the haunted house and a couple of drinks and past one cold stolen chicken burrito... Then what? I didn't know either..

Step 6 in The losers guide on how to lame up a good Halloween party is simple. Leave. Sure things aren't going quite right and you feel odd and out of place so just give up. Well that is exactly what I did. I left. Earlier I got a call about one of my houses being broke into so I used the need to check on this particular piece of property to allow myself to give up on the night. So that is just what I did, I gave up on the night and got back to business. And sure enough before I even stopped the car I could see that there were cabinets and sinks all in my driveway. What an interesting way to end an uneventful night.

Who would have thought I would be ending my evening by dragging cabinets and sinks through the West End of Atlanta nearing midnight on Halloween. With the wet and damp conditions there wasn't a single person in sight. Not one trick or treater to be found. What began as a night of promise and excitement ended in a lonely cold dark corner of Atlanta. Someone had been here, someone did break in but not even they were here now.

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