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Parenting 101

Family & Friends - Home Life

Lesson 1:

You can be the over protective parent if you want but there is a very real world out there that you should be preparing them for.
Never let a child cry over spilt milk. There is nothing wrong with crying but sometimes there just is. Especially the older a child gets.
Don't tell me kids don't respond to yelling, it's about the only thing they do respond to. But just like anything, if you do it to much it loses its effectiveness.
‘I Can't' - Is not ok.. ‘I Tried' is. Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, your right.
Kids are going to grow up to be people some day and people in general need to learn how to take a joke. So if they can't handle a little ribbing from someone they know loves them, then how can they handle anyone else?
Challenge your children to accomplish greatness. Teach them to set and achieve goals and that's its ok to fail so long as they learn from their missteps and try again.
Never let your kids win. In whatever game you play, don't make your purpose to humiliate them but let them earn a win. When my son beats me in chess (even though I don't play with a queen or bishops) he is very proud of him self and even starts a little smack talking... "you sure you don't need a queen?".. Then rises to a challenge and dares me to keep my bishops.

Post Script:

When dating a single mom allot of times it can feel more like a job interview over anything else. This is fine in many ways but is such a hassle in so many others. My ex-girlfriend had a child that I liked to hang out with, a four year old with a sense of humor and an ‘I can't' attitude. An over all good kid that my four year old niece even enjoyed being friends with. But even with as much adoration as I showered him with, the split second I was critical in any manner she would scold me like a mutt. So in ending, let these be words of warning to anyone that dares to date a single parent. Remember, you have to win the hearts and minds of two seperate but equally important people.

Your only limitations in life are your budget and imagination. If you don't have the talents to achieve your goals then hire someone who does...

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written by Decorus Angelus , August 18, 2009

It's okay to let a child cry..its a human emotion. Stop expecting young children to act like "little soldiers"..quit telling little boys to "man up"!

Yelling is abuse..especially to a child and just teaches them to yell..

I "can't" is acceptable..within certain parameters..

"ribbing to an extent is verbal abuse

Letting them win sometimes is wonderful!

Dating a single mom is tough..but it is extremely rewarding when the right combination occurs. Maybe you got reamed because it wasn't your place to criticize that child. After all he wasn't your child or was he?

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Misunderstanding..
written by Mutt , August 18, 2009

Never have I told anyone ever to 'man up'. And I do mean EVER...

Since when is yelling abuse? I haven't met a good parent yet that didn't yell at their kids. You don't yell non stop.. you raise your voice when they get out of line. Discipline them now or visit them in jail later..

If you think ribbing is 'verbal abuse' then just how thin is your skin?

Definitely not my kid. Not that I don't like him but never did I criticized the child either. I talked to his mom, and in conversation would get scolded for my view on something she and I were talking about. Never did I bring it up. How dumb do you think I am?

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misunderstanding
written by Decorus Angelus , August 19, 2009

Interestingly enough, you won't find adults yelling at each other nearly as often as they yell at children. Walk through any Elementary school on the rough side of town and you'll be alarmed at what you hear. While the hallways may be creatively decorated with children's artwork, the yelling you hear through the doors paints a much uglier picture. Indeed, yelling at kids is something no one would prefer to do, although it often seems like the only logical thing to do. Why is it that adults will easily contort to yelling at children rather than logically or rationally working out the problem? It all typically boils down to a communication problem. Adults tend to think that by being angry, the child will respond to that and learn to behave. However, the anger only reveals a highly negative reaction to a conflict. What children really learn is that in order to solve a problem or deal with a conflict, they need to become emotional and angry. They also need to take out the aggression in a negative form. Not only can yelling at kids produce anger in the child, they are also brought down emotionally. They are told that their worth is little, and that they mean less to the adult than other problems. For example, we may feel comfortable screaming when someone pulls out in front of us, or perhaps when we are stuck in a red light. It is a safe time to vent and burn off some additional anger.

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written by Decorus Angelus , August 19, 2009

it's not about being thin skinned...i too have been a victim of abuse so believe me its not about "thin skin"

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HANDS OFF FUCKER
written by Clifford Scott Carson , August 20, 2009

I can't stand people who take it upon themselves to discipline other peoples kids. Who the hell are they to discipline other peoples kids?? Who the fuck is a PUNK ass jailbird to be giving advice to anyone about how to raise their kid? Especially when he is unaware of his own shortsighted emotionally retarded upbringing. Now he's going to project his shit on my kid? I don't think so. He can be as cold and bitter from all the years of dumb luck he wants to be, but don't put that crap on my child. I'd tell that sonofabitch to mind his own fuckin' business. He's nobody to administer discipline to anyone, much less a child. Who is he? Some redneck too stupid to listen to good reason?
Or better yet, some emotionally crippled whiny baby easy to point the finger at anyone except himself? Not in my home you don't, that's
what I would tell him if he tried to discipline my child. Like I said, he can be cold, bitter and unattached emotionally all he wants in his own life, but don't push that shit on my kid.

Can't believe the ignorance of some people.

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What are you an idiot or something?
written by Mutt , August 20, 2009

Are you a fucking moron or what? No one disciplined anyone else's child.. EVER!!! What part of my post, said that I ever, in any way, disciplined any child?

And who the fuck is this fat childless fagot to be talking down to me? When is the last time you even dated a woman, never the less one with a child?

How many kids do you have Cliff? 0
How many kids have you helped raise Cliff? 0

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written by Clifford Scott Carson , August 20, 2009

It is not a boyfriends place to discipline another woman's child, PERIOD! And who's the "fat childless faggot" here? I lived with women and their children when I was younger than you and it was NEVER my place to discipline HER children. What gives you that right? I don't think it's a
STEPPARENTS right either, let alone the BOYFRIEND?? Where do you get off doing things like that and the fact that you write homophobic insults says more about your education or lack there of, than anything else about you.
HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE MUTT? And what the hell do you know about raising kids? Seriously. You'd play out on your children the same thing your parents played out on you without a CLUE of how fucked up you can be and are sometimes.

I would be a WAY better father than you would be. You'd shame your son, criticize him
and make him feel bad about himself. I wouldn't. That's the difference between you
and I. I wouldn't continue the cycle of abuse onto my children that was played out on me
and when I say "abuse", I'm not necessarily talking physical as much as I am emotional
and mental, which has an even deeper longer lasting effect on a child. Look at you?
I also suspect you'd hit your kids too. WHY? Because you lack the insight, emotional maturing,
imagination and intellect to do ANYTHING ELSE.

As a footnote, I admit my last post was harsh and if there were editing options on this site I would
reworded it. My apologies for my lack of diplomacy, but I was tired and angry at the time I wrote it and it was
very very late at night.

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Holy Shit Really?
written by Mutt , August 20, 2009

I NEVER disciplined anyone's kids.. I did nothing but be a friend the little booger and he loved me for it..

You Are GAY.. Never had any kids, Will never have any kids.. so that leaves the question.. Who the fuck do you think you are criticizing me FOR SOMETHING I NEVER DID!!!

I have a great mother and father.. You call me emotionally fucked up and abusive yet write articles whining about your dead father.. BUD.. Who fucked up who huh?

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You got some nerve HEDDA
written by Clifford Scott Carson , August 20, 2009

HOW THE FUCK do you know if I'll ever have any kids or not? Do you have a crystal ball? You don't know me. Oh and for the record, I'm bisexual, JUST LIKE YOU!

In this case, one doesn't have to have kids to know that it's not a BOYFRIENDS or STEPPARENTS place to discipline another persons children. It's called etiquette. Get yourself some. I'm not saying you did one thing or another. It's none of my business and I wasn't there. I'm saying in GENERAL.

You're fucked up in your way, you just don't know it, so don't point your finger at me. I've done the work, I have self awareness and I'm STILL doing the work. You, on the other hand ignore it. WHEN IN YOUR LIFE HAVE YOU EVER DONE ANY SELF EXAMINATION?? I don't trust ANYONE who isn't the slightest bit analytical about their parents. Nobodies perfect and nobody loved their mother more than me. I loved both of my parents and yes, I can be analytical about a person and still love them. Nobodies saying your parents aren't good people, etc, but you're emotionally COLD and lack compassion for other people, animals, etc, so where did you get THAT? Yes Hedda, THAT'S fucked up. But hey, you're entitled to live your life anyway you choose. But don't think you can pull the wool over this boys eyes.

Have a nice day

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