Opinionated Thought

I Love My Son, But Hate His Mother.

Family & Friends - Home Life

Pretty strong words, yes I know. It is no secret that his mother and I have not got along for quite some time. But then again looking back one tends to ask less subtle questions such as, Did we ever get along? Back in the day and once upon a time in the land of the young and naïve my answer may have come to a surprise to some and a cringe to most. Yes, why yes we did. That is of course because we spent most of our time in the bedroom.

We didn't get along in the kitchen; she couldn't cook. We didn't get along watching TV; she wanted to watch the food network. (Probably because she couldn't cook) The bedroom was the only room of the entire house we ever got along in consistently. The acts of love and pure unadulterated sex that we committed time and time again the stories of which are fit for the pages of the classiest of smut magazines satisfied every time. Even though next to finances sex is one of the single most important aspects of a long standing and committed relationship, it should not be the foundation of one. The foundation of a relationship should be friendship and friendship is based on trust. I once threw this girl out in the street because I thought she stole fifty bucks from me only to have the bank call me the next day to apologize for their error.

Our son is a great kid and that is not just parental flattery. He doesn't cuss and rarely acts out. Of course he's only eleven but still very obedient and mindful of others. He could get better grades if he wanted to but instead chooses to be lazy the reason of which I feel is the lack of academic stimulation. He can be a bit of a smart ass at times but that's my fault, like father like son. He is my best friend.

The problem is his mother doesn't need me any more so making my life easy is not at the top of her agenda. When I had the cars, the houses and the business to pay for it all she locked on to me like the life sucking leach that she can be. Now she has a new boyfriend (that some would refer to as a sugar daddy due to their 30yr age difference) and I just do not matter any more. He's a good guy and takes care of them and she's happy so that's all that I care about. With this new dynamic though come new insecurities that I can not logically explain, but insecurity is the only logical explanation to her actions.

The problem was with planning. No matter what, when, where, or how far in advance that I tried to plan things when it came time for me to pick him up, something always came up. Time and time again and on more occasions that I can count and over the course of no less than a year no matter what plans I made they would be ruined. I must admit if I was spontaneous about seeing him then I could pick him up whenever I wanted to. The problem is that you can not buy good tickets to any decent event the day of and expect to actually be able to see the festivities.

The straw that broke the camels back was the circus (no pun intended). Three weeks in advance I asked her if it was ok to take him to the circus that weekend and she said it was. I sent her a reminder email a week prior and it went unreturned and that's when I knew something was up. He was supposed to spend that entire weekend with me but the Friday evening I was supposed to pick him up, it all went downhill. Needless to say he didn't get to go. He missed a great show and I haven't talked to or seen him since.

I miss him so much. From diaper duty to rock climbing and everything in between the time that we spent together generated some of my most prized memories and they are mine forever no matter the amount of drama she creates. Even as I trudge through her deluge of bullshit I have tried to be a good father. I understand he adores me to no end and the problem is with her not him although he is the one that suffers the most. Whatever her rhyme whatever her reason in the end it doesn't matter because I am not his biological father anyways.

Lane H.

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