Love...Relationships.. Just a Thought

why is it that people seem to have this convoluted idea of of what love and relationships are supposed to be and entail? why is it that some seem to think that it should be all peaches and cream all the time with no bumps and curves along the way? that it should be always smooth sailing. how unrealistic that is! life itself has bumps and curves and turns and twists so why wouldn't things within life be ever changing as well if life itself is ever changing? why does love and a relationship have to remain constant, never changing, growing, always smooth sailing? I mean sure, smooth seas would be nice but it's totally unreaslistic to expect that love and a relationship won't have its bumps and curves that need to be compromised with. I mean that's what having a relationship is about is love and within that love comes compromise and flexibility of both parties involved. There will be times that one or the other will disappoint the other one that's a given and to be expected. To expect pefection within it is unfair and unrealistic and setting oneself up to fail and be failed upon. There will be times when things aren't "perfect", one or the other will have to be apart for some time and as uncomfortable as it may be it is a necessary part of life, or opinions may clash, or individual styles and ways of going about things will be very different, but by no means are these good and just reasons to just "give up" on something whether that be love, a relationship or a task at hand. If you give up on every hard task or situation that comes your way you will most certainly find yourself missing out on some of the greatest and most fullfilling things in life! Who wants to live like that? Life and love are full of compromises that people must make. Yes, it can get tough, it can even get dirty but that's the fun part! That's what separates the men from the boys and the girls from the women..one's ability and willingness to persevere through the "tough times" and the "lonely times", one's willingness to bend and flex just a little bit more and deal with the things that life hands us with love and commitment to someone else no matter what life may hold all the while walking hand in hand.

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Blame it on the Movies
written by Clifford Scott Carson , August 15, 2009

I blame alot of it on television, movies, storybooks and romance novels hat glamorize love and relationships and present them in an unrealistic "happy ever after" scenario. As I've said before, I think it's a big mistake to think that someone has to "complete you", that one is not complete on ones own. I don't know anyone who expects "perfection" in a relationship. Well, anyone who isn't in their teens and twenties that is. Personally, I think single people are WAY more interesting to be around than couples are. Couples usually have to check with their significant other before they can make a decision over the littlest things, i.e. going to the movies with a friend, going out without the other, etc. My friends don't particularly like it when I have to cancel a date because of my partner. In short, people in relationships can be damn boring. Loneliness is a state of mind that one can have in or out of a relationship. I enjoy my relationships, but when they're over, I relish my independence and freedom. As I've stated, I much prefer being around the single individual independent thinker who has it all going on for him or herself then I do some needy co-dependent person in a relationship.

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...
written by Decorus Angelus , August 18, 2009

The question herein though is this? Should one require of the other person to do solely what the one person desires? Should one demand of the other perfection, ambiguity with emotions, feelings, wants and desires? or is it better to flex and bend with each individuals needs, to meet in the middle or is it better to demand one's own way? Is it right to expect the other to not have feelings, or to not express them, to be a "puppet on a string" so to speak? Is it just required that someone not have emotion in a relationship, not express that emotion in any shape, form or fashion? Is life a straight road or does it have hills and valleys? If life is not straight as an arrow then why should one's own emotions be required to be a straight arrow? The world and life and the situations therein are in constant change, flex and motion..why is it not okay for an individual person and their emotions to be in that state as well? Is it not human nature or are these individuals that believe that human emotion should be flatlined just empty shells of a human soul?

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Broken to a fault..
written by John Doe , August 18, 2009

Sounds like your having relationship issues. Did you and your partner hit so many 'bumps in the road' that the wheels fell off? What ever the problem is I would recommend moving on. To many fish in the sea to waste your time with some one that isn't flexible or doesn't understand your needs. Maybe they just like being on more level ground? All these hills and valley's your talking about, doesn't sound like they want to be dragged up and down them.. What ever the reason it doesn't sound like it's a fit at all.. I say find someone else...

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bumps in the road...
written by Decorus Angelus , August 18, 2009

true there may have been bumps in the road but every road has its bumps and believe me moving on is a definate as you are so right there are ever so many wonderful, adoring, understanding, non-judgemental, open minded fish in the sea...i have found that always demanding ones own way and having unrealistic expectations of others generally leads to much disappointment and strife and generally leaves the one "expecting" too much lonely and searcing for a long time to come and generally leaves one feeling lost and always searching for something that can never be attained...your assertation of the situation is ever so true..it was not a good fit at all..kinda like trying to shove a size 7 shoe on a size 13 foot...I caught onto the "red flags" a while back but rather than acting upon them then I sat in wait, observing. It's a great thing I did to because I gained a lot from the situation in all actuality. I got experience in assertaining the presence of particular "red flags", how they affect relationships, how they effect me within the relationship, how to handle them, what to do about them, what not to do about them, and how to be assertive within the issue at hand. I also got to learn a lot about this person and in turn about people like him and how to handle myself in regards to them. I got an amazing opportunity to take care of myself and my needs and wants and honestly I wouldn't trade the experience for the world as it has served me well! I can grab this experience, take what I've learned from it and be that much more the wiser and better a person for it. After all, isn't that what life is all about? Living, Learning, Making Mistakes, and Moving On? You only get one chance to live! Do it right! Let's Go Fishin!

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