Opinionated Thought

Strippers are overpaid prostitutes

Last Updated on Monday, 17 May 2010 01:37
Written by Morgan Hill Sunday, 16 May 2010 20:37

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More teasing less pleasing for all the wrong reasons are there any girls in here that even look decent? The answer is one by the way. Out of the whole place there was only one that I liked, in fact there were a few that I would have paid to stay dressed.

 

As the story goes:

I’m trying to wind down on my way home late one afternoon when I pull off the highway a couple exits early looking for a beer and run across this strip club. Why not right? I’m just looking for a beer and what better place to get one. Luckily for me it was a pretty low class joint. Normally I have a strict “I pay no cover” policy but naked girls for $5.00..? Well, ok..

There are no words that can properly convey how nervous I was. I’ve been pretty good at avoiding strip clubs ever since the dancer I was dating took me home to meet her husband and three kids but that’s a whole other story for another time. Plus I’m a tight wad and see throwing money away as a wasteful antic with little entertainment value. Needless to say it has been a very long time since I have been anywhere near a club of this type.

 

So here I am with a mighty thirst and shaky knee’s walking into an overpriced chicken ranch thinking about how many tease for fee’s I’m going to have to decline before the nights done. But just then as I began to second guess my decision my nervousness subsided as I spotted a pool table and was on it like steel to a magnet. For every pool player knows that when it comes to playing pool the winner keeps the table and challengers pay to play. After three or four beers I was ready to go but couldn’t seem to lose a game. I’m not that good of a player so I can only assume that my challengers were focusing their attention on other things.

 

So to the moral of the story:

Here I am a few beers in trying to wrap up what had been a pretty good night. For the most part the strippers left me alone and allowed me to drink my beers and play my pool. Plus I had one of my best winning streaks in awhile. With a few free beers in me and allot of free games behind me I was feeling pretty good. And just as I was thinking this place wasn’t that bad and I wouldn’t mind come back this thing walks up to me. Let me try not to be rude here, this (what I assumed was a girl) was easily twice my size both directions. It was tall with broad shoulders and thick. It looked like a big muscular man that found his feminine side and transitioned over. Needless to say, not my type. This thing had been tramping around the place all night with a ‘birthday box’ looking for handouts. “it’s my birthday, it’s my birthday” and my only thought was ‘tell someone who cares’. Just as it appears that I’m finally about to lose a game she comes trotting over and tries to pin me on the wall. As she’s shoving her birthday box towards me telling me how much she likes ‘white boys’ I finally decide to give her a dollar just to make her go away. I go to pull out a bill from my front pocket and luckily for me a single comes out. When I go to put my crumpled up one dollar bill in her little cardboard box she pulls it away from me and says “Is that all you got” with this look of disgust on her face. To which I replied “take it or leave it” she took it. And as she was walking off I should not have said “ungrateful ho”. What transpired next can be simply described as an uncomfortable departure.

 

So the moral of the story is to watch your tongue especially if you have been consuming alcoholic beverages. Also, that if you’re going to make a nasty remark about someone twice your size do so where they cannot hear you. Furthermore, and this lesson is an important one, try and leave a great party while it’s still a great party. Don’t wait for someone to ruin your evening before turning in for the night.